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It’s something that I’m trying to bring myself a bit closer to. I haven’t cried since… Though I find myself closer to allowing myself to do it.ĭid you ever see a girl start crying and three or four females descend and just hug and there’s no discussion no nothing, just ‘it’s okay’, some body contact, a bit of a hug and a ‘thank you’? There might be no explanation, just support. It was something small, like I hadn’t taken the bin out or something and I went into the shower and I just broke down crying and couldn’t stop. I had just left a teaching job, my girlfriend was helping me out massively and I felt like I couldn’t do anything right. It was in November and it was the first time I cried since I’d say I was a teenager. When there’s a problem a woman will say how they feel whereas a man just looks for the solution. Maybe it comes from films where the female is crying and the man is there for her to put her shoulder on. I’m not sure where it comes from, but there’s almost a stereotype that the man must be strong. You’re never more exposed than when you give your true feelings on something.
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I guess it’s because you just leave yourself so open.
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What did you feel about that at the time? A certain gender did a certain type of job. The work in the home was all done by women. Traditionally the man did the stuff outside.
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So manliness for me was 90per cent of the time about manual labour – mucky hands, walking around in your socks, working hard. All my uncles were turf cutters or mechanics or in construction, some sort of manual labour. We all lived in the same house and all our aunties and uncles were local. I grew up with two sisters, four brothers, my mother, my father and my grandfather. If you would like to add your voice to this series, email did being a man look like to you growing up?
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How to be a Man is a series exploring masculinity and the challenges facing men in Ireland today.